602 Reasons to Be Ticked Off by Paul Nardizzi

By Paul Nardizzi

Don't you hate it if you happen to inform a few ignoramus you are from a definite urban they usually say, "Oh, are you aware my pal Henry?" Or, awful reward givers who say, "I saved the receipt, with a purpose to go back it," so rather than a present you find yourself with an additional errand? good, so does slapstick comedian Paul Nardizzi. 602 purposes to Be Ticked Off is his pointed reaction to the issues to feel free approximately sequence. classified through subject, the publication positive factors greater than six hundred quick-hit anecdotes on issues that individuals do this grate on our collective nerves. Like people who smoke who blow smoke on your face simply because they recognize they're harmful their lungs, so why no longer deliver alongside a number of hostages? no matter if it is a kind of person-such as cops, postal staff, or the elderly-or an tense circumstance-like using, air commute, marriage, or activity interviews-Nardizzi has had it as much as right here (place hand palm-down six inches over head). The e-book bargains a hilarious mixture of proven-funny traces from his stand-up act as...

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War veterans who pull you aside to show you an actual German head, a bullet hole in their ass, and their one remaining nut. Spending the bulk of the evening trying to pick up a woman in a bar, then suddenly realizing “she” has the voice of a man and her Adam’s apple is the size of a meatball at Denny’s. An imbecilic golfer yelling “Fore,” two minutes after you’ve been read your last rites and had your eyeball donated to science. Missing eight songs at a rock concert because you’re in the men’s room waiting behind a drug addict who can’t locate his genitals.

Corpulent desk cops who answer the phone with a surly attitude, as if you’re the one who stuffed 300,000 glazed doughnuts down his oversized gullet over a ten-year period. Cops blasting us for overblowing the whole cop–doughnut thing by pointing out that the white powder on their lips is sometimes not confectionary sugar, but rather the residue from snorting confiscated crack or heroin. Idiotically falling for the “good cop–bad cop” routine, when it’s so obviously fake because there is no such thing as a good cop.

After you blast your horn at a stupid-ass driver, some massive bastard gets out, so you quickly jerk the wheel to the right, pin the pedal to the floor, and unexpectedly run out of gas. Getting pulled out of your vehicle and beaten to a pulp at a red light as fifty other drivers cheer and shout violent suggestions. A cop pulling up, witnessing another driver assaulting you, and deciding to give him a hand. Getting stuck behind some cowardly driver who apparently can’t pull out onto the road unless there are no cars visible anywhere along the horizon.

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